The Knot

Know the saying, death happens in threes…well, I think it may be the same for weddings. 

Last year, a good friend of mine, pulled me aside while at a garage sale and said, “Katie, I have a question for you…will you be my maid of honor?”  I obviously replied with a “YES!” and with absolute assurance in my voice that I knew what I was doing. Later that week, I went to the nearest borders and bought a book titled, “The Bridesmaid Guide: Etiquette, Parties, and Being Fabulous” by Kate Chynoweth{my favorite maid of honor task/duty, that the book mentions, is to dance with anyone that looks lonely…I think this will be my strong suit}.

Maybe it is the age, but it seems everyone around me is getting married.  Literally, a couple months after my friend asked me to be in her wedding…I got word that two friends, a cousin, and my sister were all tieing the knot as well.  So within a series of three of four months I will be attending almost 1 wedding a month.  I keep thinking about all the pros to back-to-back weddings…and there are a lot!  Not only is it a time to party hard with friends and family, but it also allows for some of the best hawking, dancing, consuming of alch, single guys, and{best of all} beyond diggy digging…!  I can not wait!!!

Rebecca{my cousin/bestie that is also single; we hang out so much that our family calls us lesbian, gay cousins…not normal and never going to get a guy with that sort of reputation} and I were talking it up this weekend about all the weddings taking place this summer and we concluded that it is going to be an extremely busy summer for us.  Saturday afternoon, when both Rebecca and I were bronzing the bodies by the pool, we were discussing all the plans in great detail and saying it is such a stressful life we live.  For example, this summer in between the multiple weddings scheduled we also have 2 camping trips, 3 bachelorette parties, 2 bridal showers, a couple concerts{outside lands}, and a TBD vaca…possibly Florida to visit the bff or New York{our favorite}!

Where Rebecca and I differ from most girls, is rather than seeing these weddings as an opportunity to try and find a man for ourselves or start taking relationships more serious, we instead see it as opportunity to party our asses off and use the wedding as an excuse to do so.  Maybe this summer we will grow out of this single phase of our lives and each find that dream man…or maybe we will continue to rage and end up in the late night drive through at Taco Bell.  Regardless, congrats and cheers to my friends and family...Kelly & Rich, Rachel & Jason, Collette & Mitch, Rose & Zach and Megan & Gabriel; I wish you all much love and happiness in this next chapter of life!

Me and Rebecca scouting at the bar...obvs single and ready to mingle

Guest Blog by My Cugina, Rebecca

An Ode to my Beloved Bellybutton Ring

I believe it was my wise friend Swami (local South-Bay guru and urban turban specialist) that once said, “People are only unhappy about impending birthday’s if they imagined they would be something/somebody else at a particular stage in their life”

A couple weeks ago I celebrated my 26th birthday. As the day approached, I felt a looming sense of doom. I kept thinking about this quote and wondered if perhaps my birthday blues were a result of feeling as though my life had hit a roadblock. What was I doing? Where was I going? Am I really mature enough to be 26? Clearly, the answer to that is ABSOLUTELY NOT.

So, I took stock of my life. I did this whilst bronzing in my backyard, obviously. As I did some deep, life altering thinking, my eyes traveled to the shiny, cheap piercing in my belly button and I had a sudden mini-crisis. There it was: absolute proof that I was immature, that my growth had in fact become stunted. “Oh My God, I have to take this out before my 26th birthday,” I declared. I immediately got on Beluga (belugapods.com-check it) and did a 911 to my  “Girl Talk Pod,” and asked their opinions on my belly button bling. While this was by no means a new conversation, I thought their disgust might push me to the point of finally unscrewing the little ball and burying it forever, both figuratively and literally. As I suspected, they did find it utterly appalling that I was approaching the elderly age of 26 and still had my belly button bling in-as they had all been enlightened many years before that it was a thing of the obnoxious past.

Why did I struggle so much with this seemingly simple decision? Why did it mean so much to me and why the eff could I not just rid myself of it without a moment’s hesitation?

So, I reflected back to my 17-year-old self. To the girl that wanted her belly button pierced so desperately that she was willing to be kicked out of her father’s house. True story. I remember fully believing that it would instantly transform me into a tan, anorexic, Brittany Spears/Victoria’s Secret model. I naively assumed that with a millisecond pierce of the skin, I would suddenly become something that I wasn’t. I failed to recognize at the time that in order to achieve this idea of “perfection”, I would also need breast implants, rhinoplasty, luxurious hair, 5 more inches of height, thin legs...the list goes on. I cried and pleaded with my parents. Actually, mostly just with my Dad who thought a belly button ring was both trashy and promiscuous. Conversely, my Mom was ready to take me to the closest Vibes body piercing shop. Totally normal. Of course, my boyfriend at the time told me straight up that, “Only whores had belly button rings.” Sweet guy.

The week before finally getting my belly button pierced, I had officially broken up with that sweetheart of a boyfriend. I felt as though an oppressive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The sense of freedom was overwhelming. It was akin to a spiritual awakening-I wanted to desperately repossess the girl that I once was prior to a relationship that I had thoroughly lost myself in. I remember driving down highway 1 with my friends and on an impulse told them, “ What I really needed was a rebirthing ceremony.” Weird, I know. We pulled over and went out into the bitterly cold fog that perpetually clings to Half Moon Bay’s coastline-both familiar and yet always somehow shocking at the same time. We made a beeline for the cold Pacific Ocean like madwomen on a mission, stripped down to our bras and underwear and screamed and laughed until the salt from the ocean and our tears became indistinguishable. It was thrilling, absolutely retarded and yet completely and wholly cathartic. As my heart thumped fiercely against my frozen skin, I felt truly alive. I felt reborn. I made a promise that I would never again compromise myself for anyone or anything. I was going to do what I wanted and do it in my own way. A week later, my belly button ring would become my official act of rebellion. A declaration to myself and to the world about how I was going to live my new, adventurous (reborn) life.

And so maybe that’s why I can’t simply unscrew the ball and toss my belly button bling into a forgotten, dusty corner. Through writing this it has become evident that my belly button ring has become symbolic of something much deeper in my life. Perhaps, it’s a fear that though the process of letting go of my belly button ring; I would also be simultaneously annihilating the free-spirited, rebellious child within. A rebellious nature that I feel has led to some of my life’s most unforgettable moments and decisions. Or maybe I’m just getting way too sentimental about an ugly, trendy belly button ring. Btw, did I mention it’s also glow in the dark? No joke.

Nevertheless, as my 26th birthday came and went, my belly button ring did, indeed, remain. As I sit here now, it has become a source of personal contention. I loathe it but I can’t bear to let it go-just like any unhealthy relationship. And yet here I am and my beloved bellybutton bling still ultimately prevails-possibly my final act of rebellion and middle finger to an adult world that I’m not quite ready to fully succumb to.

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Thank you cousin for sharing this intimate story between self and belly button ring...I thoroughly enjoyed the read!

"Check-In"

The Cousins

When was your most recent life changing moment?

For me, today was one of those moments. This morning I was seriously struggling to get out of bed...it was almost 11am and I had about 6 missed calls, a couple texts, and beluga updates questioning my whereabouts.  I was tired and tempted to sleep all day.  After about 15 minutes of just laying there, I got the energy to get up and get the body moving.  I called Rebecca and told her I was on my way over and then beluga chatted everyone that I was ok and alive.  Finally, I get to Aunt Marys and round up all the cousins. 

Earlier last week, Rebecca signed the both of us up for little 5k that my Uncle Dave's church put on so we had to rush over the hill to make it in time.  When we arrived, I was still feeling a little weak and un-motivated, so I chugged a cup of coffee and waited until the run was on its way.  What I realized was that this run was a part of the church's get "wholly fit"{mentally, physically, and emotionally} series and at the event today were two contestants from the biggest loser{father and son}. 

Not only was today's course amazing{all along the coastal trail of HMB}, but at the end of the race I got the opportunity to hear the two contestants speak about their experience on the show and their tremendous life changing transformations{from 400lbs to 200lbs}; I was in tears and so impressed by the two. 

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason...and by no chance did I meet this wonderful family this afternoon.  What stuck with me the most, from today, was when Austin{the son} went up to speak.  He mentioned that his biggest struggle was that anytime things got too rough or hard for him, he would simply check-out or mentally quite.  This was something that I completely related to.  So many times in life, in particular experiences, I recognize myself checking-out and feeling detached to that situation.  I am fully aware that I do this, but justify to myself that it is easier than facing the problem itself.  The challenge Austin placed in front of me today is to experience life through every moment; check-in and be present!

Ken, Rebecca, Me, and Austin

Birthday Weekend

Lounging

This weekend was my birthday weekend and literally all I wanted to do was lounge.  I got home from work on Friday and was so happy that little man was in town and just thought to myself, the absolute best weekend would be to just chill with Jake and not plan anything or have to be anywhere at a specific time. 

So that's what I did!...I canceled my bday bbq and I just lounged and hung out. 

My family did trick me though and threw me a very mini surprise bbq at the house, and some friends and fam came to celebrate.  We ate, drank, did talent show skits, and did our fams famous, synchronized 3 claps.  At the end of the night the friends got ready to go out and I got real weak and ended up staying in and watching a movie with Little Man{so comf}. 

Although this weekend didn't go anything as planned, for those that know me, I kind of love the unplanned/unknowns in life!  More memorable!

I miss my sister

Kristen in CT

Its been a little over 3 months that Kristen{my oldest sister} has been missing.  Right before mother's day of this year, she asked my Aunt Mary to watch her son{Jacob} and has been missing since.  About a month ago, the police were able to track a number down that got us into contact with Kristen, but after a very strange cry-out for help phone conversation from her, we have not heard anything since.

Many people have asked me what I think happened, or why I think she left...and all I can say is there was a lot going on in our lives and maybe she needed a break...BUT still it doesn't make sense.

Besides missing her, what I think about often is our relationship right before she went missing.  I have always been extremely close to my siblings but after my mom passed away, mine and Kristen's relationship felt very strained.  We were living together at the time, which I think made things very difficult and complex.  Looking back, my biggest regret was my constant judging and commenting of her lifestyle and further her parenting skills.  For some reason, I would feel the need to jump in whenever I felt something were wrong...now I think about it and it wasn't my place.  What I see now{wish I saw back then} is that being a single parent is unbelievably hard.  Jacob was her life and she did everything for him, while also working full time to support little man.  I wish I could take back all the arguments we had, all the harsh words, and negative comments but I am hoping that soon the time will come that I can giver her the biggest hug and tell her in person how much I love her and miss her.  

Kristen, Kelly, Me (top to bottom)

"This is my year"

Me

Last year on my birthday{which is coming up on July 11th} I woke up beyond hung over, on my friend's floor, feeling so sick and exhausted from the night before.  I remember waking up that morning, saying to everyone at the house "this is my year"; meaning I was going to get super healthy, fit, discover my career, pursue my passions, maybe fall in love, and just kill it! 

I am going to have to say that I think this phrase might have to roll over to this years birthday goal, and that this will be "my year"!

So everyone reading this...you can hold me accountable.  On July 11th of 2011{in less than a week} I will be saying those 4 little words and from that day forward I will do my best to make my 25th year the best I possibly can!

I am Lucky

There are a lot of things in life right now that just are not right {my sister being missing and Jacob having to live with his father}, but at the end of the day I am fortunate and feel very lucky for those things that are right.  I wanted to kick off the 4th of July weekend with a little game I love to play with my family and friends{we played tonight at dinner}...it's where we all go around and say a couple things we are fortunate for in life.  Here are three of mine:

• I love my new job{VonChurch}...even though I had to study like crazy for my test today, which I passed at 97. something %!  
• My health and my family's health.
• Supportive/positive friends.

"The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them." 

-Paulo Coelho